I've been lying in my bed for the past two hours trying to sleep with no avail. I know I have to get up in 4 hours, but my body isn't listening to me; I'm gonna pay tomorrow. I suppose I can't sleep 'cause I have too much stuff on my mind. It ranges from finding a storage unit in Eau Claire, to my grandma's health, to how sweet the electric blanket on the bed is. I became a little disturbed when I began thinking about this blog and my stupid little profile. I realized that I didn't mention my trombone. One year ago I probably couldn't speak a sentence without spouting off something about my horn, but now I don't even think about it that much. That's not to say that I haven't spent plenty of trombone choir rehearsals in tears or that I don't want to play anymore, it's just that the trombone isn't so much a part of my life anymore. It's actually pretty scary. If I hadn't hurt my arm, this break would have been filled with long tones, orchestral excerpts, and Aebersolds, but instead I've just been sitting on my ass depressed.

I wonder if I'll really be able to play again like I used to. I wonder if I need to find something else to do with my life and if I could be happy doing anything else. I guess, just like with everything else, time will tell. Will I come back to Eau Claire with my trombone on my back ready to take the place over, or will I have turned into someone else? I don't know.

Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep now before the 12 hours of traveling ahead of me. Wish me luck.